Always

Always
by Kaline Reine

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters/settings. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto, the creator. This is only a fan story.

WARNINGS: This is my attempt at writing a non-adult story... So uhm... The story may be kind of lame. And I'm sorry if it sucks... Also, warnings for Yaoi/Shounen-ai, maleXmale, incest, past murder, and extreme OOC-ness.  

This was written for the Uke-ItachiFC on DeviantArt. It's for a contest to see who can write the most Uke Itachi... And I could do it better if there were smut involved, but let's see how I do anyway. Teehee...

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He flipped through the channels, a bored expression on his face. There were thousands of cable channels, and Sasuke marveled that he still couldn't find anything worth watching. A yawn made his boredom known.

His brother walked out of the bedroom. Long black hair hung in his face, shining in the light from the television. It was hard to see his eyes now, but they were an odd color. Sasuke had always been fascinated by them... They looked almost red, but if you looked closely enough, they were actually a peculiar shade of reddish brown. He had two scars running along each cheek. Their father had cut him with a wine bottle when he was drunk one night... But Sasuke tried not to think about that. It was hard not to, when it was written right across his brother's face, but he still tried.

It was late at night, and the TV was the only thing on. But Sasuke wasn't watching it... There was something far more interesting to watch... Itachi being subservient and cleaning up the apartment, like he did every day. Sasuke looked at him in silence. He didn't seem to notice.

That was odd, because Sasuke had never actually asked him to clean. He'd just moved in because his older brother had offered him a place to stay... He was in college, and he hadn't found a place to stay that he could afford, while still in school. He was shocked that his brother had even offered...

Staying with Itachi had to be much better than trying to share a dorm room with other college kids. No one else really understood him the way his brother did... They had a silent understanding of the other's nature, because they were so much alike. Yet, they had their differences too. They were just different enough to get along, while being alike enough to tolerate one another. It was the perfect balance.

He'd been here for many months now, and there had been no issues... Well, nothing other than Itachi acting really weird. Every time he mentioned moving out, Itachi would get really upset with him.

Sometimes Sasuke liked to screw with him, and say he was looking at a place. That would really set him off.

"How did this get here?" Itachi moved the small stack of newspaper from the coffee table.

"Oh, I was looking at the classified ads..." Sasuke picked up the remote and started sifting through channels again.

"Classifieds...?"

"Yeah," He smirked. "I was looking for places for rent."

The expression of fear on his face was absolutely priceless... "But... Why Sasuke? Don't you like it here? What did I do wrong?"

It was so different from when they'd grown up together. Normally Itachi was stoic and aloof. He would never falter to let someone know that he actually cared about something. Or someone... Even if that someone were Sasuke.

"Oh..." He pretended to be as nonchalant about the subject as possible. "It's fine. I guess I just don't want to be in your way, or bother you."

"I told you you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like. You're my little brother... Why would it bother me? You don't need an apartment. You're already here."

Sasuke decided to mess with him a little more. "But it would be my own apartment, you know? I wasn't looking for anything right this second, but in the near future it might be nice if-"

"But... I can help you clean your room this weekend, if you want. And we could go shopping when I get paid. I..." He hung his head in defeat. "I'll do whatever you want."

'Bingo.' Those were the words he'd been waiting to hear.

The younger Uchiha hit the mute button on the remote, silencing the TV, but keeping the dim glow of soft light that it provided. He looked at Itachi, trying to decide what he would do now. Now the ball was in his court. And he was sure to win the game...

At first he hadn't even realized he was doing it. But since he'd moved in, he had begun to very subtly control his older brother. He was confident that he could get him to do whatever he wanted. Well, almost...

He'd always secretly wanted to make out with his brother. More than that, he would do anything to be with his brother. He loved Itachi in a way that was much more than what ordinary brothers should feel for each other. It was hard for him to admit it to himself, but he finally had. He would never admit it to the object of his affections, though. That was a step he'd never been able to take.

No matter how submissive Itachi was, no matter how many times he told Sasuke he loved him, no matter how much he did for him, no matter how many times he did exactly what he was asked... He could never ask that of him. It was forbidden and wrong. Yet a small part of him couldn't help but hope sometimes.

"Come here." The words escaped his lips, laced with dark intent.

Itachi had no choice but to obey. Ever since his younger sibling had moved in, Sasuke had controlled everything he did. Even if it weren't on purpose.

When he approached, a hand shot out to grab at his ponytail. Lithe fingers wrapped themselves in the silken black cord, using it to maneuver him. All it took was a small pull, the lightest tug, and Itachi would move exactly where he wanted. He pulled him as close as he could, causing the elder Uchiha to have to bend down awkwardly over the couch. Sasuke felt the couch cushions dip down when his knees rested on them.

They'd never done anything so reckless, but... Sasuke really wanted to test the waters to find out just how deep Itachi's feelings for him actually went. He had said that he'd do anything... Right?

"What do you want me to do?" Itachi seemed confused, but he was staring so intently into his younger brother's eyes... It made Sasuke feel a little bit lost.

He shook off the feeling, and tried to remember what he was going to ask. But before the words could come out, he pulled his brother's face impossibly close. To feel those sweet lips moving against his own, to feel that amazing sensation as his brother kissed him back gently, letting him know that Itachi shared the same feelings for him as well... It was more than he could ever hope for. All he really wanted was a sign. Something to tell him, once and for all, how Itachi felt. He didn't want to ask him. He'd thought about it, and even come close to doing it a few times... But every time he did, he would be too afraid to continue... Just like now.

He let himself down again, moving quickly away. "Cook something for dinner? I'm starving..."

"Yeah. I'm starving too..." Itachi glared at him for another long moment, still close to his face, even after he'd let go.

Without a word, he turned and went to the kitchen...

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He was trying so hard to figure out what went wrong. It was like this every single time. Itachi couldn't figure out where he'd screwed up. Sasuke had been so close to kissing him... And just like every other time, he'd stopped and changed the subject completely. At least, he was fairly certain that was what his little brother wanted. He hoped that was what he wanted. Because he wanted it... Badly. Like nothing else.

His insecurities wouldn't let him make the first move, however. As the older brother, he felt it was his role to be protective. But how could he be expected to protect Sasuke from himself? It was impossible.

Itachi just wanted to let his brother know that he would do absolutely anything for him. Anything if it would make up for all of the horrible things that he'd done before...

They never talked about it. It was like a taboo subject for them; a rift that had grown between the two brothers over the years. The Uchiha brothers had been hiding a horrible secret from the rest of the world. When they were younger, Itachi had killed their parents. He'd murdered them both in cold blood.

He never told anyone why he did it. But then, no one had ever asked. It was funny... Such a simple question. Yet even Sasuke, who he had wronged like no other, would not question him on the matter.

Honestly, he was surprised that Sasuke had even consented to live with him, after what he'd done. He obviously had his theories about the reasoning behind it, but as of yet they remained unspoken. How did he know Itachi wouldn't turn on him, and just snap one day, and kill him too?

It was simple: He didn't. He was taking a huge, unfathomable risk, just by being here. And he obviously didn't care.

"It's done, Sasuke..."

He'd made something that he knew his brother would like. Sasuke had always craved tomatoes... So they would have spaghetti tonight.

"Looks good," The younger Uchiha commented, when he came into the kitchen and sat down. "Thanks."

"No problem. You know I'll always take care of you. It's what brothers are for."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to."

Sasuke just nodded, seeming to accept his words as fact. But Itachi knew better. He felt like his brother still waned to move out. He knew that deep down, it would always be very hard for them to trust each other. Sasuke would have doubt in his heart, and Itachi would have doubts about Sasuke's doubt. It was a vicious cycle, and part of the reason a more severe relationship wouldn't work out between them.

The two brothers were both thinking about this, while pretending not to. They shared their meal together, in silence. But it was a semi-comfortable silence, at least.

The rest of the evening went about uneventfully... With Sasuke watching a little more TV before bed, and Itachi doing the dishes before going to sleep. They didn't know how to approach one another, or what exactly to say. Nothing was expected of the younger Uchiha. He was free to do as he wanted, as long as Itachi was still allowed to be a part of his life... No matter how small that part may be.

He would do anything to make his little brother happy. Anything.

The earlier incident in the living room never should have happened. It shouldn't, but it did. And it would give the two of them something to think about as they fell asleep, each in their own separate rooms... In their separate beds.

Itachi had offered to let Sasuke sleep in his room. He claimed he was worried about him, but really... Deep down he knew that was not the case. Hell, they both knew it. Sasuke had always refused to share a bed with him. He claimed they were both too old for it. And he was right, but that wasn't really the point. He wanted so badly to comfort his younger brother, but he was never allowed to. Because the kind of comfort he truly wanted to offer would be wrong. Sinful, even.

Shortly after he'd fallen asleep, he heard sounds coming from the next room. They were unusual. It sounded like Sasuke was having a panic attack or something.

Red-brown eyes shot open. He had to see what was wrong. The older Uchiha was across the hall and inside Sasuke's room in a flash. The window was open, letting in a light breeze along with the silvery moonlight. He saw him tossing and turning on the bed. He froze for a moment, holding his breath, and hoping that he could figure out the cause of his brother's distress.

"No... Stop it," Sasuke whined. "Please... Itachi... Don't kill them!" His voice was close to crying.

Itachi's heart sank when he heard his name. He had actually expected this. That was the hurtful part. He had already known that his brother was upset about it.

In the past few months they'd been living together, he had seen the signs. He always knew what he'd done was unforgivable... He felt that he was wrong for ever expecting anything different.

"Otouto..."

Gently, he swept the fine black strands of his bangs behind his ears, freeing his brother's face to his view. His expression was that of someone in intense pain.

His ceaseless agony was obvious. Even if Sasuke hid from his true feelings during waking hours, his subconscious would always hold on to the hideous reality of what his beloved brother had done.

"...Itachi?" The younger Uchiha sounded terribly weak. "Why are you... in my room?"

"I don't expect you to forgive me, Otouto..."

He saw a flash of pain flicker through Sasuke's eyes every time he looked at him. Itachi had never understood it, until now. He was met full-force with the broken nature of that same stare. His brother was coated in a fine sheen of sweat, and he was cold and clammy to the touch. Running his hands over smooth porcelain skin, Itachi held his hand. he sat in bed with him, and tried to offer whatever comfort he could. And somehow, he already sensed this was a mistake.

It was like he could feel the endless agony, the constant pain that his brother felt every day. Itachi closed his eyes, and tried not to think about it. In his waking hours, Sasuke did everything he could to distract himself from the awful truth, but there was no feasible way to do that when the very person responsible was right here in front of him.

Red and black pajamas made a slight shushing noise against the bedsheets, as Sasuke finally sat up. He looked around in the darkness, scanning his room for some sign that he might still be dreaming... He found none, but he dared to hope anyway.

Sasuke looked at him. And then he did something strange. His hand reached out, almost too fast to perceive in the dark. He grabbed a handful of his hair, latching onto the back of his neck without warning. Itachi had it down, and not in his signature ponytail, because he'd been asleep.

"Come here... Aniki."

Feeling helpless as usual when it came to his younger brother, he gave in to the pulling that brought his face inches away from Sasuke's. It wasn't the gentle pull that he was used to. It was more like a sudden yank. And he knew that this time was different. This time Sasuke meant business. He wasn't going to run anymore.

"Wait... We should probably talk about this first. Sasuke, I-"

His lips were crushed under the pressure of his brother's. There was no question in either of their minds over who was in charge here. Sasuke dominated him in every way possible.

Itachi gave in to the feeling, and let himself be swept away... He just wanted to feel every sensation as it happened, and to savor this moment forever. Because even then, he knew it would never happen again. There was no way Sasuke would slip up again. This was a moment of weakness for both of them, and nothing more. He knew his little brother would never forget himself enough to get this lost with him again, so he would enjoy it while it lasted.

An insistent tongue slipped inside his mouth, and quite literally took his breath away. His eyes rolled back in his head and he couldn't stop the moan that had formed in his throat. Sasuke was holding his head in place, crushing their faces together to make sure he could not escape. He was a really good kisser.

They kissed for a long time before Sasuke finally allowed them to part. Their breath mingled together as they stared into each other's eyes. So many things raced through his mind in that single moment... There was so much that passed silently between them during the emotional exchange.

It was the older one who initiated the kiss this time. Slowly, almost hesitantly prying Sasuke's lips apart. If only this moment between them could last forever...

"I forgive you..." The words were whispered so softly, he wasn't entirely certain he had even heard them.

"Sasuke?" Itachi pulled back, stunned. "I know you're upset. You were having a nightmare about-"

"What happened was a long time ago. I understand part of the reasons that you did it, but... There is also that part of me that can never understand. Not really... But regardless, I forgive you."

Relief washed over him in waves. He'd been so worried about this. For years, he hadn't known the status of his relationship with Sasuke; how far damaged it truly was. And now the one he adored had finally chosen to forgive him.

Itachi was almost afraid to do it, but he needed to be held right now. "Otouto... Hold me?" He curled up to his little brother's side.

"I'll always be here... Aniki."

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