I feel it.
The darkness creeping upon us,
That same greedy thing,
That will never leave me in peace,
I can’t find it,
The tranquility I used to feel…
KILL ME!
Sometimes, in my mind,
These thoughts are fading away,
Losing the battle,
With such dominance,
A powerful darkness.
Butterflies…
One day they fly,
The next, they die,
I don’t know why,
They live a lie.
Until they…
Stop!
No, I should have stopped this long ago,
Such nightmarish daydreaming,
Letting myself be taken in,
By the shattered illusion,
Surrounding my dreams,
Trapping me in the sun,
To wither.
I will never surrender.
The sparkling, opalescent torture,
Such poetic justice,
Makes me strive to be different,
A strange and unknown creature,
Haunts the other side,
Of the mirror that hangs on my wall.
I’m giving in…
I appreciate it, thanks for reading.
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Critiques
i love how it's separated into the different paces, it truly emphasises the mental struggle being described.
what would have been good was if you would have each stanza based on the different stages of grief...
but yes i must say i do love this. it has a definite power behind it and the imagery created by it would creates a beautifully morbid picture in my mind. the vocabulary used within the poem is very well used to create just the right amount of impact to get the point and desperation across.
very well done
(oh and apologies but this is my first ever critique)
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